3 weeks? So maybe we’re all getting under one another’s skin? I’m in another place.
I’m in a place where the forward motion of my dreams propels me beyond the inertia of facts. Where my greatest desires swirl around me in a tunnel of acrylics, each color is vibrant and distinct, blending with one another, bleeding and seeping into their destined places. A wind kicks up to push away the gravity of law. And each cell in my body is electrified by a smooth momentum of belief. My mind becomes at ease with a humble confidence that brushes over sands of time. Each grain a minute detail in the ocean of my life.
I see what is physically around me, and I can catch vibes off the people around me. I feel I know who I can trust. And I inevitably flirt with the alternative, quickly to reinstate my fidelity. Calling to mind the faithfulness life has shown me for 19 years.
I have to believe in timing and fate. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have been adopted. Imagine if my birthmother had an abortion. I always contemplate if my parents had waited two more weeks to decide to adopt. Where would I be? What would nature vs. nurture had been able to prove? I know for a fact that things happen for reasons. So I need to trust that I’m here for a reason, and do my best to succeed – wait to see what happens.
So nothing major went down today. A couple of much-anticipated pillow fights. Some pleasantly surprising visitors Naps and lack there-ofs. We attempted to have Julie choreograph a dance and instruct us…to quote Borat, ‘Great success! Not!’
I am nervous about tomorrow. It’s like the night before a big game, knowing that the outcome of the looming match determines whether or not you continue playing the sport. Uncertainty of the evening before a coup you planned. A war you triggered then enlisted for.
Whatever ends up happening, I know I have no regrets.
New day.
- Waiting to see
p.s. Tomorrow we’re having a ‘T party’ (Where I inject myself with testosterone) at 2:30 P.M. for the web cam viewers who are interested.
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2 comments:
8-11-08
hey hun. i am rooting for u for todays challege. i hope u win and get to stay. i am gonna be watching @ 2:30 for the t party. lol.
as for the blog, i didnt kno that u were adopted. u kno that u can tell me anything. and i am glad that u are here. otherwise i may have never met my bestest f**king friend forever! *tears*
as for the news, Brett Farve is @ jets camp and had to run a penlty lap with nick mangold for a fumble in camp. #4 does not get special treatment @ camp. as for the 2008 games micheal phelps has 2 gold medals and is on his way to making history. last nite team usa won the gold for the 4x100m realy and shattered the world record by 4 secs. i just love micheal phelps. he is a awsome swimmer.
yankees are still like 7 games back. SUX r like 3 back and TB is still in first. the voice of chef on south park died sunday @ the age of 65. Bernie Mac dies @ the very young age of 50 due to illness.
i am still super stoked about going to ceder point. i want to come and vist u 2nite. i will be watching the challege and voting tonite to vote out who i think should be expelled.
GOOD LUCK BABE!
♥ALWAYZ
Lydia
i stopped in today
and i dont think you noticed
im leaving tomorrow
so good luck (:
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