“Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings’ end.”

Tonight is bittersweet. I get to leave this place – but I’ve been here 33 days straight and have some crazy memories here. Tomorrow I could win, or I could lose. My emotions are stirred in a magnetic frenzy – polar opposite feelings crumbling like powder.
Alyssa and I were surprised tonight with some special guests at dinner. Her dad, his girlfriend and my dad joined us for dinner in our humble abode. It was pretty amazing. It was very releasing to hug my dad and as soon as I walked in he had tears in his eyes. (I guess we’re emotional guys). My mom couldn’t make it – she had to work, but before work she stopped by and I sort of lost it. I became “emotionally razzled” to quote Alyssa, because it was a very climactical moment for me. I began thinking of how lucky I am to have her and all of the factors that play into our relationship – how every thing she had to overcome helped her to love me unconditionally. When she left I could still feel her love radiating. I remembered some fights we had growing up – and how I find it ironic that I am here in this contest to win a prize that will ultimately allow me to get surgery – and how my mother was not willing to accept my transition at first. I got pretty choked up when I thought about how much she supports me know – and even how she made sure I knew I was loved when she disagreed with my pursuits. I thought back to some messy breakups I had with girls way back when, and how it was then I resolved that my mother would always be my number one woman; that I should never allow romantic relationships to come between me and my parents. Those two branches on my family tree. (Which reminds me of some lyrics I wrote called Family Tree way back towards the beginning of my first semester of freshman year at UT – I wish I could post it in here to give everyone A) a taste of my other style and B) the breakdown of my feelings about my transition and how my family supports me).
Anyways my dad told me about Vermont. He told me that there were people from his church following this competition and some guys from his job too. I laughed – I really have no clue who watches this. I think if I knew of someone in this competition and I was online and bored how I probably would switch on the web cams. And then I weird myself out and try not to think about it – tomorrow at this time I can pick wedgies at my own leisure 
I’m trying to keep this last blog simple and light – I’m very excited to go back and read what everyone else said in his or her blogs tomorrow night, no matter how everything turns out at the finale.
This experience was absolutely worth it though, not matter what. I’ve felt emotions I never knew could be felt. I’ve found writing material the luckiest writers couldn’t stumble upon. I’ve made friends and found supporters. Hopefully I’ve helped show people something new. I’ve learned so much from simply interacting with everyone else that was in here. I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’m proud of myself and know that this experience will be something I can tell everyone about.

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings’ end.”


- flirtatious taz

P.S. Wanted to shout everyone out one last time – Sean it was nice to see you tonight – I appreciate what you and Court are doing. Lydia and fam – thanks for showin love. L-Ford and Kassondra, Mrs. Harrington, Max, Louisa and mom – thanks for everything – you guys provided entertainment and reassurance – love the LSS taz… he’s keeping Taziker company – which leads me to thank Whitney (and Maddie), Peyton, Mary-Kate, Brooke and Karlie for all of the support you ladies showed everyone. Mr. O’Connor and Adam – thanks for keeping it real. I loved to try and get you guys to laugh – I hope you found that when I failed miserably it was still entertaining. I wanted to dish out a huge thanks for the Fly Community College faculty and staff – Brian, Chrissy, Jim, Terry, Papa Chabs, Mar, Tanch, Scotty Bones, Dean Jackie, Kelly, Eric V, Special K, K Money, Jim Cerqua, Nina, Caitlin, Sue, Molly, Kiki, Melissa, Kim (and Mahagony), Rob, Asher, Ramel, Baby Bear, SUSAN!! and everyone else – you guys put forth a lot more than I’m sure anyone realizes and I wanted you guys to know that I really appreciate it. This experience was so unique and I love to think that not many others get this opportunity – if anyone else at all has had tenancy for 33 days at a mall in such bizarre circumstances. In essence it was a blast and you guys deserve recognition. Stephen from Salad Creations – honestly thank you for feeding me. All the sponsors – Boscov’s, Wendy’s, Vitamin Water, Mohawk Honda, Colonie East, Hannoush Jewelers, SEFCU, Clifton Park Center and all the others – just thank you for everything. So worth it – hope you enjoyed following.

Adam, Rachel, Julie, Brian and Jon – props on coming back to visit and being chill – it shows a lot to everyone about your character – see you guys tomorrow 